Do You Remember Your Childhood??

As much as I try to remember mine, it seems rather vague. Not sure if its due to the pregnancy brain cell memory loss effect or I didn't have many exciting memories to begin with. All I recall most of the time was watching tv, napping, occasional water play in the backyard and running around in the garden.

Looking at my kiddo (currently only 1 is highly active and mobile), what I want to do is to create happy memories for him. This June was his very first school holidays. I'm really glad that I coincidentally was on leave to take him out instead of being cooped up at grandma's. 

Week 1: I realize his restlessness in being at home. There was really nothing much to do yet he found some toy to play or started exploring tricks and stunts that were unknowing to him to be dangerous. As days passed, he grew cheekier and cheekier. Managed to bring him to a few free indoor playgrounds for him to fuel his energy into some physical development.

Week 2: This week was awesome as I didn't need to crack my brains on what to do with him as I signed him up for a week of holiday class at JG which he thoroughly enjoyed!

Week 3: Though there were plans made, most had to be cancelled as the PSI in Singapore crossed the unhealthy levels and kiddos were best kept indoors. Time was filled with cartoons and DVDs but I made the effort to get him involved in a little baking which he enjoyed. To keep him happy I also cooked meals which he rarely got to eat at my mums. Pasta and more pasta as it is currently his favourite.

Week 4: This week he had 2 play dates organized. Both at Sing Kids Play System as I bought the vouchers prior to the sch hols and wanted to ensure I used them before they expired. Went to the united square one on tues with cousin Cheryl and on fri we headed to the vivo city branch with BFF Declan. Both times R really enjoyed himself to the maximum. He's become more cheeky and sociable. He says hi willingly on his own when he sees someone familiar... He's also starting to try to engage others in conversations. When he's at play alone, he'll also turn ordinary household items into lions and fishing rods and monsters... He's at a stage where I feel nurturing him is most important. I really want him to just enjoy his childhood and not limit his imagination. 

As a parent I started to smack or raise my voice when I hit my limit but I realize that through the eyes of my child, he doesn't understand why he got smacked. Instead to him i turned into a monster that frightened him. I've also learnt this holiday that discipline is done to instill appropriate behaviour and the fact that for every action there is a consequence and NOT fear or to cause pain. My purpose as a parent is to explain to the child why certain actions are wrong and what are the consequences instead of merely saying if you do this I'm going to smack you. It's not easy but I'm trying and learning at the same time. There are times where I've lost my cool and became a monster and saw the fear in my child's eyes. It's something that has struck my heart strings and I'm sorry to my child for those incidences. I'm glad that even with the occasional monster that appeared, he still loves me dearly and a hug and kisses brings back our bond as mother and child. Seeing his smiles, feeling his warm hugs and kisses is what makes motherhood worthwhile. 

To my kiddos, I love you more than you can ever imagine. It's a learning process but every moment with you is worthwhile. Hope to be the best mum I can be to you.

Love

Mummy

Empty promises...

This is a rather sad post as I'm feeling emo right now... Dunno if its hormonal or what but I'm really pissed and tired of everything.

Is it me or do all mothers out there do the same? Day in day out the kids stick to me, be it feeding, showering or bed time... Sometimes occasional help will be good but usually when the kids kick up a fuss the reply comes with a shrug and the word "he only wants you". Where's the effort? 

While attending to one I thought that by the time I'm done with the feeding that the other will be asleep by then, instead I find the father asleep and the kid still awake sitting up on the bed waiting for me. I spend at least another hour of my rest time coaxing him to sleep.

Often you say things like let's have that ice-cream or watch that DVD but when all the chores are done and the kids are asleep, you too are already deep in slumber. What about spending some time with me? Words to me are cheap and no longer holds any more value cos it goes up in hot air the moment it's released from your lips....

Here I am once again feeling taken for granted....