Wishing for a normal life...

What's normal to you? Everyone has a different definition of normal but for me I don't mind just leading a life with my kids, not worries no stress... Is this even possible I wonder? No worries no stress I highly doubt so.  The last few week/months have been stressful. Stressed to the point I feel that that somehow I have changed a little. I'm less tolerant and more jumpy... I rarely smile. I miss smiling really happily. I miss being carefree. Don't carefree doesn't mean kids free. I love my kids to bits and there is nothing about them that I will change. Not being happy affects me affects them. I want to be the best mum to them yet I'm affected by trying to be the best daughter to my mum. Her condition is improving but the tensions and vibes in the house just drives me insane. I cry out loud inside my head. At times I hear my inner self screaming to the highest pitch with all my strength but outside not a sound. It's hard... So hard and I'm often tired but I'm thankful for my husband who is my rock in the midst of the storm.